26 January 2011

Facebook Rations

I began weaning myself off Facebook last Friday afternoon. My reasoning behind this decision was outlined in this post.

Initially I decided to leave my profile up but I soon realised that was going to be a problem as I was tempted to *pop in* and see what my friends were up to.

I suspended my account.

This decision illicited a remarkable response.... Within minutes I was contacted via email and smses - all with differing responses to my decision - either respect, ridicule, concern or confusion. Bizarre but true.

The first 12 hours or so were tough. My overwhelming feeling can only be described as feeling like there was a party going on in the next room and I wasnt able to join in the festivities. I felt isolated and left out.

And yet I was at home with my family. The most important people in my world.

On Saturday I reactivated my profile to use the chat function to interact with a friend who is going through a trauma. Of course a few friends could see my presence and immediately there was the assumption of failure. I ignored all the little fb chat boxes that popped up accusing me of being a hyprocrite blah blah blah blah.

After my conversation I popped onto the wall of a friend and wished her happy birthday.

I then closed facebook.

Later on Saturday evening I was contemplating what to make for dinner and I remembered a recipe that Shayne had sent me through facebook.

I went into my fb email and retrieved the recipe.

I then closed facebook.

Never once did I feel the need to click on *most recent* or to update my status.

I have happily re-entered facebook and am now engaging in a manner that does NOT leave me with a nagging sense of guilt.

This battle is won but the war continues. :-)


Shayne said...

I had wondered if you had decided against it, as you are still aroun on fb.

I hear you loud and clear tho. Now that we've got wireless my pc is on all day - and fb is my home page, not good. but i'm ok with it. for now.

Good on you.

How was the supper btw?

Marcelle said...

I'm super addicted to everything online being back in Germany...its a totally different lifestyle...this is my company!¬!

You will do what is right for your family I know....:)

Return to Norway said...

You go girl!

Stefanie said...

I didn't notice...but then I seldom notice stuff right in front of me, people getting haircuts, cat hurl and hungry children ~ to mention just a few.
You're a wise woman and just being aware of something and making changes that work for you and your family = priceless.

Grinleer said...

I have finally caught up with ALL my backlog of invoices\spreadsheet work that my over zealous and too many hours spent on FB last year pushed me into! we talking months....
So, i too enter say hi and then close..oh the power!

Ness at Drovers Run said...

Mel - what I really don't understand, is why your *Friends* behave like that? Who sms/emails whatnot - with judgemen and ridicule? Who ARE these people that call themselves friends? People popping up in your chat and calling you a hypocrit? These are the people in ones life that are toxic. They bring you down. Gosh I think if someone had to behave like that to me, I would remove them and be done with it. If they come back later and apologise and say that they were harsh (or whatever) then I'd reconsider (forgiveness is divine) but until then - I wouldn't bother to interact with someone who sat in judgement of me. Sheesh.

I totally understood your need to disconnect. I do it from time to time too. But like I said to you before - it's caused more good in my life than harm (providing I keep the smartphone interaction with FB to a minimum).

So, you will never hear any judgement from me whether or not you go in/out/on/off/whatever.

But seriously? Some of these so called friends of yours need to catch a wake up, this isn't high school anymore.

Vanessa said...

I should also add, that the people you keep around you, should be your cheerleaders, not your high-school-nemeses (plural).

I'm not one for quoting biblical scripture (not in the least!), but for some reason, "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." seems entirely appropriate - and I can't find anything more perfect to fit the situation!

MelB said...

Thanks guys - :-)

@ Ness : ag, I think its all very tongue-in-cheek ridicule etc. However, I have deleted one person who was particularly offensive.

The rest I love and they love me - even if they piss me off sometimes. :-)

Anonymous said...

I am with "Ness" on that one!!!

Hayley S

I'm so not a blogger said...

Good on you, Mel!
(and dont worry about those that 'judge' you, they clearly don'thave any thing else better to do...or ignoring their own lives in order to create some 'drama' some people are like that;-)