05 April 2014

Vivid Realisation

This week held moments that together made me stop in my tracks and take note.

Faith is cooking full meals. Meals with names like 'chicken fricasse' - I don't even know how to pronounce that!

I now give Rachel my credit card and a shopping list and she does my grocery shopping while I run other errands.

Levi had his first sleepover last night - it was a playdate that evolved into a sleepover. I was just required to throw kit over the gate. No hugs, kisses or backward glances.

My kids have grown up. Before my very eyes. I have journalled, scrapbooked and blogged many moments. I have lived intentionally and tried to never take the ordinary days for granted. I have done all I could to savour the years but here is the thing : they pass. Just like that.

I am eternally grateful that I took the time when they were very young to capture special moments and everyday life. This weekend we have paged through their albums. Treasures.

They have all expressed the desire that I return to my roots : paper, glue, photos and pens. Blogging can come second apparently.

Today I scrapped again. Three layouts all done. Nothing fancy because that is not what captures their hearts - it's the memories and the words. I think returning to this journal-form will be beneficial. The years have passed and I can no longer freely share online about them as I did when they were little people.

It is difficult not to look back and feel like I should have paid more attention. I should have spent more time. I should not have yelled so much. I should have laughed and played more.

I do know I did the best I could and that is enough.

I have so many more years ahead and I look forward to them in a whole new way. There is something about looking back from where you have come that simply inspires you anew for where you are going.


Stefanie said...

I can identify. Mine now nearly 21, 18 and 14.

allie. said...

Ah yes, Mel!

But you, perhaps more than many others I know, have been so intentional about recognising and capturing the moments.

The realisation that the years are passing and that things constantly change brings a mixture of joy and a lump in the throat that is hard to dislodge.

I still get it.

I still have those moments of "I wish I had . . . "
Ultimately though, as you say, we do the best we can with what we know and we have to rest content in that.

You have three extraordinary children.
The future looks, if anything, even more exciting than the past.

Lovely, heart-stirring post: enjoy the "back to your roots" creativity: it has always been your strong suite.

Marleen Swart said...

I can so relate. They grow up so fast.

cat said...

Oh I love that last pic! And yes, so very true. I am so terribly sad that I did not blog or do anything more in A's first 3 years or the boys' first 6 months. From then onwards at least I have the blog.

From 2013 it has been mainly Project Life and gosh, do I wish I started that earlier!