I realise now why I dont blog very often. Blogging often results in me looking for a particular image which then means I have to delve through MANY images to find the one I need.
A part of me feels I need to FORCE myself to do the hard stuff - look at photos, watch videos and listen to his voice notes. Maybe it's good for me.
Probably healthier than sitting in a dark corner cutting myself. Yes. I now understand why people self-harm. Hurting physically is far more appealing than the gnawing, relentless bite of emotional pain.
My mom took both these images. It is the day we moved from her house back to ours.We had been told that our time together was limited. We desparately wanted to make sure we spent as much of it as possible in the beautiful house we built together nine years ago.
This day marked the beginning of our preparation for the end. I still feel utterly gutted.
You don't know pain until
you're staring at yourself in
the mirror with tears streaming down your face,
begging yourself to just hold on
and be strong.