26 February 2016

It Is Not Okay

It is six months since I was left alone out here to deal with life.

It's super shitty. I realise I am incredibly angry. Which makes me feel guilty.
I am also tired. I don't sleep anymore. 

This doesn't mean I am not happy in many aspects of my life but the fact remains that I am not okay. 

The biggest problem is that I often feel okay...which means I look okay and then suddenly I am totally not okay. It dangerous and confusing; even to me. 

The fallout is huge for the people closest to me. I swing wildly from massive guilt to f*** everybody rage mode and it is exhausting. The lack of control over my own life is debilitating.

I know I have to ride this out. I know it is normal but it is overwhelming to say the least.

Tomorrow I head up the coast to spend 24hrs with some mates; no kids, no responsibilities. 

I am so ready to just forget the world for a couple of hours and hopefully head into March with a little more confidence and energy.

Happy weekend to you all; make it worthwhile.

1 comment:

Marcelle said...

its a path I have never walked...so have no suggestions, but I am learning from your experiences. Thank you for the honest sharing.