14 June 2016


I have decided to feedback on each kid individually.

Helps me to focus my scattered brain and makes reading it less tedious.

Bullet points are going to be my best friend in the next few posts.

  1. Faith has persevered bravely with treatment for Osgood Schlatters that threatened to keep her from dancing for 3 years. In fact, she is back at tap and is hoping to start modern again next term. Pretty damn miraculous. I have to thank our incredible physio, who like me, refused to lie down and allow this to debilitate Faith for years to come. 
  2. Faith has almost completed her therapy and I will be meeting with her therapist soon for feedback. From my conversations with her I see real healing even though the pain persists but she is not afraid to feel and deal. 
  3. Faith is working with a tutor twice a week - more to free me up from the responsibility of marking and keeping track. She works independently on the other days of the week doing the work assigned by her tutor. She is feeling confident and challenged in her education.
  4. Faith has changed dramatically - mostly I see this as a good thing but at times my heart is broken. My naive, sensitive child has been brutally broken and in her restoration she has put up fierce walls, she has a cynism that is uncharacteristic and a profound sadness that shadows even her happiest days. I  know all of this will settle and change a hundred times in her lifetime but right now, as her mom, it hurts me deeply.

Conversation today:

Me : Instead of cards for Fathers Day we can each make a scrapbook page for dads' album okay?
 I will print out photos for each of you.

Faith: Why can't I choose the photo I want to use?

Me: I don't want you to have to go through hundreds of photos to find one - when I do that I kind of stuffs me up for days. The memories, you know?

Faith : Oh for goodness sake Mom, we aren't babies. 
We are all old enough and tough enough to deal with this now. 

Maybe I should be proud of her. 

But I am just sad.

Suffice to say, Faith is attempting to move on and find her stride.


cat said...

She is a brave brave girl - just like her mom

allie. said...

I see the abiding sorrow in her
And her comment to you makes me, like you, sad

But there is a huge amount to be proud of in her too.
The very fact of who she is, makes what she is doing that much the braver.