FIVETRIBE

It has come to the end. The FiveTribe blog. I cannot write here any longer. I cannot write anything that does not reflect back on the tragedy of our lives. I have come to this space so many times in the last few months to try and continue our journey, in writing, on this blog. I. Just. Cannot. Five-Tribe was then. And now I have to move on and figure out the now. I need to find a new space that does not home so many memories; both so very good and so very painful. I did not expect it to be so difficult to say goodbye To A Blog. Just another facet of loss which is so much bigger than the obvious. Thank you to so many of you for reading, supporting and engaging with me over the years.

I don't quite know how I got here. Time simply carries you whether you are a willing passenger or not. The kids went back to school today. After five weeks of holidays.  It was a very challenging time and I broke down pretty regularly.  I find this all very, very difficult.  But then again I tend to find everything difficult, which is such a pain in the ass. I used to cruise through life with momentary lapses of introspection but now I almost feel like I live there. It's revoltingly exhausting.  My morning found me dropping the kids at school...Levi now in Gr 5 and Rach in Gr 10. Faith and I, smug in our solitude, went off to the gym to start the day on the front foot. Much of my morning was spent catching up with Mom on the patio, a little weeding and a little waxing ..... then a meeting with my first client who wants a complete branding overhaul. A significant amount of work to be done but I am in need of a new challenge and this looks like a great job t...

Mont Rochelle The day has been looming for months....when I agreed to this race it totally seemed doable but, alas, training got away from me. This was, without doubt, the most challenging run I have ever done. 9kms up the Franschoek mountain and then a sharp, fast descent all the way down on very shaky legs. There were tears. There was swearing. There was abuse. There was blaming. But I did it ....with the Hero by my side....quietly absorbing the hits and encouraging me in the darkest times. Starry-eyed and unaware of the extreme challenge ahead. Still able to appreciate the view (around 3kms) One of the few runnable areas on the ascent The climbs are getting real. Beginning the descent and starting to feel my legs All I am *actually* thinking is how fast I can get off that damn mountain. But, yeah, great view.

Today was Levi's first award ceremony as a SVPS pupil. I hate 'prize-giving' and have written many blogging rants on this subject but I was very pleased to see that this school has a unique perspective in the way they reward/encourage students. Their curriculum and ethos flow strongly around the theme of developing GRIT in children with emphasis on the power of failing-forward, the positive power of struggle and the understanding of process versus outcome. I sat in my seat listening to the principal and, at times, had to restrain myself from leaving my seat and high-fiving him. I watched Levi on the stage as he sat with all his peers. He lights up when he is at school and I can only be grateful that the new path I felt best for him turned out so well. He walked away with an EQ award - I am not surprised - this boy has shown outstanding courage this year. I am so proud of him. Articles regarding GRIT and how important it is : http://news.stanford.edu/2015/04/29/d...

Music. It has always held much magic for me but never quite as intensely as the last 18months. This weekend found me lying in the sun at a beautiful vineyard, surrounded by friends, listening to Watershed. As I lay there I took notice of how happy I was. I took notice of the way my skin felt. I listened to my heartbeat. I touched the grass and I inhaled the scent of the man next to me. I was overwhelmed with gratitude but, in that same moment, a tinge of sadness seeped through my pores. Sadness is not something I try to run from anymore. I find she often arrives at the most unexpected times and I have learnt to sit with her in comfortable silence. Sadness amplifies joy. She has shown me that with her I can taste life in colours I have never seen. I let the music wash over me and smiled as the lyrics told me a story I already knew. Tell her about today Tel her about my stay Tell her we better off this way Tell her I meant to stay I'll be back some...

We almost did not make this outdoor music event.  Our lives have been a bit chaotic and I just felt we should cool our jets and stay home for a bit. Thank God The Hero managed to talk some sense into me ....  Sunday morn saw us both diy-ing and doing kid/house stuff until about 1pm. Feeling stoked with our domestic endeavours we  packed the car and headed to Warwick, leaving kids at home with plenty of food and promises to be home before bedtime. We stopped for a quick bite along the way and arrived at Warwick around 3pm. What an incredible venue and a fabulous event.  Left just after 6pm and snuck in dinner at Tigers Milk before I became edgy as it was getting late...Monday was looming I needed to get home! But what an incredible afternoon - now safely stashed in the memory bank. Good times always follow these two. Getting my 'groupie' groove on with the band and the joke Selfie time. You can never have too many. ...

You have to love Facebook for all the events that so easily slide into sight. It has seriously increased our social life. The Groote Post run was in Darling - a bit of a trek - but we decided some time ago that it looked like a great family day out. There was a 4km trail run/walk for the older kids, D was able to be entertained in a facility for younger kids while the Hero and I were able to run a comfortable 13k trail route. The terrain was completely different to our usual mountain stuff. There were some challenging sandy bits and a few little hills (that felt enormous at the time but that was before Mont Rochelle taught me a lesson!) We were mostly spoiled with view of tumbling hills and rolling wheat fields - a welcome reprieve from some of the highly technical stuff we have done in the past. After the race there was much feeding and water to do for all the many peoples....my folks and brother joined us for lunch which was very cool. Fit family :-) Pre-race se...