We have settled into our new home. It has taken many twists and turns along the way. In August 2022, Rach moved out and now she is returning home. Which means I am renovating the tiny house to make space for my firstborn. I can safely say I am very excited to have everyone under the roof again - I was not ready for my eldest to leave so soon. It was never the plan. Life has a way of offering second chances and restoration in way we never can imagine. Although this comes with its own set of challenges - for her and for me - I see it as an absolute win. It may be a revolving door and various permutations in the years ahead but this is almost certainly the last year all 3 kids will be under my roof. This blog was born in 2007 - when Levi was under a year old. I spent the next 8 years sharing my life and theirs right here. I have battled to figure out what this blog now needs to be ? Am I going to continue to write for my kids? I am not even sure they need that anymo...
Dear Russ My last letter to you was 2 years ago. Dear God, so much has changed. Maybe you've seen it all or maybe not - one of those dastardly questions that swirl around my head. At this 5 year milestone of your exit I can only look back and wonder how I arrived at where I am in one piece. The catastrophic loss of your presence is embedded in my soul and yet, miraculously, I am able to continue to live, breathe and enjoy life in a way that astonishes me. You and I know it is a God-Thing; which is why I battle with anyone giving me credit. I wish we could sit down and talk about the spiritual complexities of what I have learnt on this insane journey. By the way I HATE the word 'journey' FFS. Makes it sound like a bloody aspirational experience. The kids are good. I would not have been able to say that 2 months ago .... thank God I can assure you that a significant hurdle has recently been navigated and I can again breath easily. There have been really dark ...
The weekend went by in a blur. A blur of eating, lounging, sleeping, netflixing, occasional exercise and general malaise. I did, finally, get around to setting my kids loose to find their Easter eggs...a week later but no one really knows what day of the week or month it is anyways. There was much hilarity as the boyf took his life in his hands and pushed the girlf into the pool to celebrate Easter victory. Usually this would have him sin-binned for hours but she took it unusually well.... I spent some time online searching for ways to pivot the business I work for...in an attempt to keep my income rolling in. Sadly my rental properties are not ticking over as my tenants cannot pay rent...this will be month 2 of zero rental income for me which is terrifying..but I cannot blame them. We are all suffering at the hands of this ridiculous outbreak and can only hope that some sort of revenue generating income finds its way into our economy soon. I have started watching Outlande...
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Dad thinks I'm nuts, he wont even watch anything he acts in - but he has something that appeals to me, that guy.
Love the sardonic-ness