Things I learnt on the Goat Run
I officially start week 3 of a set running program today. I have set a goal for the end of the year which looks incredibly optimistic and more than a few people have said it is not realistic.
My running coach is not one of those people. She believes I can do it. The fact remains that I will do the training and I will either reach the goal or not. What I know for sure is that the hard work will not be in vain regardless of the outcome.
I have had a couple of tough runs - both in training sessions and the latest was the Goat Run race on Saturday. A gruelling 15k uphill race in the Paarl mountains. This was a first for me on a few fronts :
1. I ran alone.
2. I had a time goal. (I actually had to RACE)
I loved running alone. I hated chasing the clock.
What I learnt on that mountain was that trail running is a complete detox for me. It can never be a race. It is an outlet for me to escape the pressure and expectations that life thrusts upon me. Trail running is all about freedom, space, peace, beauty and connection to God and myself.
I hit my target at the halfway mark but by then I had forced myself into a dark mental space that was all about minutes and seconds. I had failed to engage with other runners or to take pictures of the incredible scenery. I was not being true to myself at all and by 9kms I was broken. Mentally I was so conflicted by my desire to RACE and my desire to be true to what I already know.
Once I lost my focus, my body followed. I stopped at some water and placed myself into it. I watched other runners fly by and I remembered that my trail rules prescribe that any water found on a trail needs to be swum in! I wallowed for a while. Cooled down and regrouped.
The remaining 5kms found me run / walking - chatting to other runners - hearing their stories and offering encouragement and being encouraged. I LOVED the last 5kms.
Trail will remain my happy place while road will be my place to challenge myself.
I finished 20 minutes slower than I planned but with so much more clarity than when I began.
My running coach is not one of those people. She believes I can do it. The fact remains that I will do the training and I will either reach the goal or not. What I know for sure is that the hard work will not be in vain regardless of the outcome.
1. I ran alone.
2. I had a time goal. (I actually had to RACE)
I loved running alone. I hated chasing the clock.
What I learnt on that mountain was that trail running is a complete detox for me. It can never be a race. It is an outlet for me to escape the pressure and expectations that life thrusts upon me. Trail running is all about freedom, space, peace, beauty and connection to God and myself.
I hit my target at the halfway mark but by then I had forced myself into a dark mental space that was all about minutes and seconds. I had failed to engage with other runners or to take pictures of the incredible scenery. I was not being true to myself at all and by 9kms I was broken. Mentally I was so conflicted by my desire to RACE and my desire to be true to what I already know.
Once I lost my focus, my body followed. I stopped at some water and placed myself into it. I watched other runners fly by and I remembered that my trail rules prescribe that any water found on a trail needs to be swum in! I wallowed for a while. Cooled down and regrouped.The remaining 5kms found me run / walking - chatting to other runners - hearing their stories and offering encouragement and being encouraged. I LOVED the last 5kms.
Trail will remain my happy place while road will be my place to challenge myself.
I finished 20 minutes slower than I planned but with so much more clarity than when I began.
Comments
And wow, I am still processing all the similarities. I'm not sure how it is possible that we share so many amazing circumstances, challenges and miracles, from halfway around the world no less - but maybe we should all just learn to accept the gifts and goodness and comfort that come into our lives, and well as the pain. It is still unfathomable to me that my partner's husband is buried next to my wife, but I still need reminded of that sometimes, too, which is what your note did.
And yes, the struggles of a blended family - well, we were not prepared for that. I have kept much of it off my blog recently, and Kim and I struggle with having our family challenges start to erode our specialness, too. It is some days an uphill battle, as you both know. So yes, we too, would love to be able to share a bit with others who truly understand. Keep in mind Kim and I didn't think that really existed, either.
So I know you struggle with time, too, but I have finally condensed all of our fractured blogs and stories down into an organized book that tells our whole story - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I've posted it online while I look for a publisher, but thought you might find some common ground here too https://joewalko.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/cairns-edited.pdf
Please feel free to reach out to Kim and I, my contact info is on my author website https://joewalko.wordpress.com/ , and good luck with everything and know that we are rooting for you guys!