FIVETRIBE

 Dear Russ My last letter to you was 2 years ago. Dear God, so much has changed. Maybe you've seen it all or maybe not - one of those dastardly questions that swirl around my head.  At this 5 year milestone of your exit I can only look back and wonder how I arrived at where I am in one piece. The catastrophic loss of your presence is embedded in my soul and yet, miraculously, I am able to continue to live, breathe and enjoy life in a way that astonishes me.  You and I know it is a God-Thing; which is why I battle with anyone giving me credit.  I wish we could sit down and talk about the spiritual complexities of what I have learnt on this insane journey. By the way I HATE the word 'journey' FFS.  Makes it sound like a bloody aspirational experience. The kids are good. I would not have been able to say that 2 months ago .... thank God I can assure you that a significant hurdle has recently been navigated and I can again breath easily. There have been really dark ...

The weekend went by in a blur.  A blur of eating, lounging, sleeping, netflixing, occasional exercise and general malaise. I did, finally, get around to setting my kids loose to find their Easter eggs...a week later but no one really knows what day of the week or month it is anyways. There was much hilarity as the boyf took his life in his hands and pushed the girlf into the pool to celebrate Easter victory. Usually this would have him sin-binned for hours but she took it unusually well.... I spent some time online searching for ways to pivot the business I work for...in an attempt to keep my income rolling in. Sadly my rental properties are not ticking over as my tenants cannot pay rent...this will be month 2 of zero rental income for me which is terrifying..but I cannot blame them. We are all suffering at the hands of this ridiculous outbreak and can only hope that some sort of revenue generating income finds its way into our economy soon. I have started watching Outlande...

I have no idea where to start with this post. In fact that is probably the reason I have not written one entry since the pandemic began and lock-down was instituted 3 weeks ago. Words seem insufficient to describe a time like this. Today marks the end of lock-down - Season 1. Season 2 was announced last week when Ramaphosa told us we would have to extend for another 2 weeks before any freedom of movement can be considered. The world has stopped. Literally stopped. It is definitely the most remarkable, unique movie script ever written and living through this is nothing short of surreal. The kids and I went into quarantine before lock-down even began - the minute the schools closed I closed our home borders along with them. It has been really hard on them but they have adjusted well and now life potters along. Our homeschooling history has definitely made this time so much easier for us as a family. The kids are completely self-motivated and able to thrive in on online educ...

The times they are a-changing. Last week Rach passed her learners licence. I am so excited at the prospect of having another driver in the house. I am so terrified to have my daughter driving on the roads. Thankfully I am well versed in managing duality and conflicting emotions! She did not want to do her first lesson stone cold so we drove up and down our road. She did well but I did not. It was unnerving to say the least. I have made it clear I will happily dole out cash to a driving school.   I know my limitations.

Monday Morning: You Beast. 0500 the alarms go off in this house. If only so we can snooze them 6 times before actually getting out of bed by 0545. Levi, myself and Rach are in the car by 0620 but not before I rush into Faith's room to kiss her goodbye and remind her where to leave the remote for me....and to admonish her NOT to go back to sleep as her lift will arrive at 0730. Life is busy man. Crazy busy. I am part of THREE lift clubs. Any given day is a newly constructed logistical masterpiece. A 15min change in any one schedule will give birth to at least 4 new permutations. Adaptable. Flexible. Problem-solvers.  That is what we have become. It has taken time and tears and many ugly, tantrum moments but God-knows we are future-proofing ourselves!  By 8am I have made all kinds of magic happen and now it is time for me to start work. Today found me in CT central meeting with a specialist tax attorney for 2 hours. Not for me personally. Just in case you thought I ...

  My poor neglected blog. I am here to resurrect and continue to journey that I started in 2006. What a 14 years it has been! I have been reading the volumes of entries I have captured and what a treasure they are. My kids are now adults. Well, not really, they still need LOTS of my money which is a little terrifying - I used to think little kids were costly. I WAS SO DAMN WRONG. Levi is in Gr 8 at WBHS, a  massive adjustment for him but he is thriving. Their first rugby tour happens in 3 weeks time - during school holidays which is annoying in terms of family time but without doubt the highlight of his year!    Rach is 1st year at Varsity College and working towards getting her licence - a little car has been purchased ... ready and waiting for her to walk into new independence. It is time. Today she also celebrates her 1yr anniversary with her person. The young man has stolen her heart and crept into the hearts of the whole family.  Faith had a ve...

I don't think I ever talked about 'The Decision' on Facebook or on my blog. Back in January, life came to a point where it was either the end of my relationship or the end of co-habitation. I had seen Kev's growing unhappiness and sensed his uncertainty about our future. It was a very stressful few months preceding my decision.  Was I going to lose this man that I love? Or would he accept a rather weird, almost backward, development in our relationship? These thoughts, fears and imaginings had a drastic effect on my mental health and I ended up a wreck. My good friend and GP drew a line in the sand for me and I knew I had to man up and face my reality. I think the heavy thing was all the sentiment around Kev and I. Everyone NEEDED us to have our happy-ever-after. The Brady Bunch. The fairytale. I wanted to be able to do that - in fact - I thought I could! I would never have stepped on this bus if I knew I wouldn't have the metal for it.  I simply had ...