FIVETRIBE

I can't believe its mid-July. So much for blogging my way through 2022 with my kids. It has been a whirlwind with radical ups and downs. BUT one thing that is sure is that we have definitely been more intentional about spending time together. Doing more stuff and having little mini-adventures. It has been sad for me that this year - which had been held as a beacon year with our 50, 21,18, and 16 birthdays has had to become something very different. No such lofty plans as an overseas trip....or even a local one at this stage. It just isn't going to happen however sometimes big trips come in weird forms and ours is no different.... We are moving house. After 16yrs in our rather large home in a secure estate we are moving back to my very first little townhouse that I bought in 1999. It is a radical, enormous and exceptionally insane move but I am certain (well, almost) certain that it is the right one for us at this time. I loved (and still love) my little Hillcrest home. It is a ...

Dear Russ, It has arrived.  Over our many years together we spoke of 2022 with such anticipation!  Of all the things we would do this magic year. We spoke of it as if it were an absolute surety.  We would arrive together and celebrate all the remarkable milestones together.   It did seem so far away at the time but never did I think I would arrive here alone.  Without the ONE person in the world that makes each of these milestones real.  It just feels so utterly devastating and surreal that I am here and you are not. I want to delete 2022 and arrive in 2023. But I cannot rob our children of this year. Levi will be 16. Faith will be 18. Rachel will be 21. I will be 50. And we would be celebrating our 30 year wedding anniversary. WHAT THE FUCK MAN. I felt the horror of deep grief beginning to crawl through my veins in early December. Knowing I had to face Christmas with cheer and a smile. And then 2022 would still be waiting for me. An entire year of loss af...

 A snapshot of our lives in October 2020. Rachel and Memphis are the old married couple of the house. 18months together and literally live together - either here or his place. They are annoying and loud and lovely and funny and delightful. Rach is going for her drivers licence soon and Memphis just got his learners. Both kids have been doing online varsity all year and have maintained really good results.  Rach has worked incredibly hard to earn her own money. She tutors and has recently picked up a regular music gig twice a month at a local eatery. She is exercising 3 x a week and keeping strong and healthy - so good to see her moving forward. She does tend to put too much pressure on herself so I do have to ground her occasionally! Faith is in a good space. She is super excited about moving schools next year. She is newly involved in her first serious relationship. So far I like him....but it takes me a while...Memphis will tell you! It is wonderful to see her happy and glow...

 Dear Russ My last letter to you was 2 years ago. Dear God, so much has changed. Maybe you've seen it all or maybe not - one of those dastardly questions that swirl around my head.  At this 5 year milestone of your exit I can only look back and wonder how I arrived at where I am in one piece. The catastrophic loss of your presence is embedded in my soul and yet, miraculously, I am able to continue to live, breathe and enjoy life in a way that astonishes me.  You and I know it is a God-Thing; which is why I battle with anyone giving me credit.  I wish we could sit down and talk about the spiritual complexities of what I have learnt on this insane journey. By the way I HATE the word 'journey' FFS.  Makes it sound like a bloody aspirational experience. The kids are good. I would not have been able to say that 2 months ago .... thank God I can assure you that a significant hurdle has recently been navigated and I can again breath easily. There have been really dark ...

The weekend went by in a blur.  A blur of eating, lounging, sleeping, netflixing, occasional exercise and general malaise. I did, finally, get around to setting my kids loose to find their Easter eggs...a week later but no one really knows what day of the week or month it is anyways. There was much hilarity as the boyf took his life in his hands and pushed the girlf into the pool to celebrate Easter victory. Usually this would have him sin-binned for hours but she took it unusually well.... I spent some time online searching for ways to pivot the business I work for...in an attempt to keep my income rolling in. Sadly my rental properties are not ticking over as my tenants cannot pay rent...this will be month 2 of zero rental income for me which is terrifying..but I cannot blame them. We are all suffering at the hands of this ridiculous outbreak and can only hope that some sort of revenue generating income finds its way into our economy soon. I have started watching Outlande...

I have no idea where to start with this post. In fact that is probably the reason I have not written one entry since the pandemic began and lock-down was instituted 3 weeks ago. Words seem insufficient to describe a time like this. Today marks the end of lock-down - Season 1. Season 2 was announced last week when Ramaphosa told us we would have to extend for another 2 weeks before any freedom of movement can be considered. The world has stopped. Literally stopped. It is definitely the most remarkable, unique movie script ever written and living through this is nothing short of surreal. The kids and I went into quarantine before lock-down even began - the minute the schools closed I closed our home borders along with them. It has been really hard on them but they have adjusted well and now life potters along. Our homeschooling history has definitely made this time so much easier for us as a family. The kids are completely self-motivated and able to thrive in on online educ...