FIVETRIBE

Easter. Three years later and the approach of Easter is burning a hole through me. Each day draws me closer to the fire. I don't even remember our first Easter after he left. I don't remember much of that first year other than that of being held in a space where my pain was manageable and kept in a bubble. I think from the second year the bubble sprouts a slow leak and the pain begins to ooze out.... And frankly this third year is set to be a DOOZY. The unpleasant part of it is that I am now pretty much alone in it all. By society's laws I am now over the worst and moving on with my life.  "Mel - you have a new life, new man, new kids and even a new job - it's time to let the past rest and focus on the future - be grateful for the years you had!" Yes. All true. Although rather bloody idealistic FFS.  But I try. God knows I try. But there are times when I just cannot be all grateful and amazing and thankful and brave. And Easter is one of ...

I have missed my blog. I left, I made a new one. I wrote on it but it doesnt feel right. This blog is home and I am back. Who knows how long this time. Its a very 2012 idea; this whole blogging thing - who does it anymore anyway? But I still think my blogs are the most valuable thing I can leave my children. So I will continue if only for them. Suffice to say we survived Christmas 2017. Our 3rd without our Man. I wonder if I will ever stop counting. Faith has gone back to school. Five years she was at home and now she hits high school for her re-entry. She has done SO WELL. It has been an incredibly stressful transition but she has truly dug deep and excelled in every area. Today she received her marks for her first math test. My child who has told herself she is not a numbers person...she is stupid... she hates maths....she is also stunned with a mark of 98%. It has taken her completely by surprise. She refuses to tell her siblings - I am at this stage still unsure why she i...