30 November 2015

Hello Monday

I spent some time on the beach this morning. The girls swam and the lad and I just hung out.
It was tough not to notice the obvious; he should be here. Period.

It did afford me some time to ponder, allow simmering thoughts to bubble to the surface.

I found this on my screen this morning and the words rang so beautifully in my heart.

Likewise I, God, will comfort Zion,
    comfort all her mounds of ruins.
I’ll transform her dead ground into Eden,
    her moonscape into the garden of God,
A place filled with exuberance and laughter,
    thankful voices and melodic songs.
 (Isaiah 51 : The Msg)

And yet the beauty still just feels like words on a page for me. I cannot find comfort or hope in these words. The bible is weird for me now.

I can't yet reconcile many things I was taught as a christian and I am not even trying. My spiritual walk has become so part of each breath I take that words on a page are 'nice' but not life-altering.

The only think I know for sure right now is:

"When we feel we've lost our hope, and we're standing all alone.
Our God is with us til the end.
There is no fear in love, for God has overcome.
Our God is with us til the end."
(All Around - LifeChurch)

The whisper of hope remains constant and it's breathed anew in me each day by my Maker; of this I have no doubt and because of this I can tentatively embrace each day as a new adventure.

1 comment:

Julian and Karen said...

Dear Mel, have only now become aware of the tearing pain that has invaded your life. My dear Mel, what can I say, as someone who too experienced that pain in 2006. I am so sorry, my heart reaches out to you and your family. We too have experienced yet another searing loss in Julian's 16 year old son, Timothy (you may or may not have heard) who was ripped from our lives in a drowning incident in June this year. Life is fraught with peril, sadness, loss, pain. Many times it sucks, but we choose to believe that He is with us, He knows, He does bring comfort. Will be keeping you all in prayer dear Mel xxx